When he was at the table with them, he took bread, blessed and broke it, and gave it to them. Then their eyes were opened, and they recognized him; and he vanished from their sight. They said to each other, ‘Were not our hearts burning within us while he was talking to us on the road, while he was opening the scriptures to us?’ That same hour they got up and returned to Jerusalem; and they found the eleven and their companions gathered together. They were saying, ‘The Lord has risen indeed, and he has appeared to Simon!’ Then they told what had happened on the road, and how he had been made known to them in the breaking of the bread.
(From today’s Daily Office readings – Luke 24)

The miracle of the loaves and fishes. The Last Supper. Breakfast on the beach after a night of fishing. The meal after the road to Emmaus. Jesus keeps feeding us, again and again. May we be nourished by Him to do the work we are sent out to do. Amen.

 

Common Prayer

So, it looks like I have a new obsession er, hobby: collecting copies of the different editions, and versions/spinoffs of the Book of Common Prayer. So far in my collection, I have the following:
-The 1979 Book of Common Prayer, hardcover in black
-The 1979 Book of Common Prayer, hardcover in Red
-The 1979 Book of Common Prayer, soft bound in red leather,chapel sized
-The Book of Common Prayer and The Hymnal of the Protestant Episcopal Church of America, published by Seabury Press, 1952
-A New Zealand Prayer Book
-The Anglican Service Book
-Our Prayers and Praise: The Order for Daily Morning Prayer and the Order for the Administration of the Lord’s Supper or Holy Communion, designed for children

-The Book of Common Prayer from The New York Bible and Common Prayer Book Society, published 1868, inscribed Ross Perkins, from Mama April 17th, 1890. (The prize of my collection, but very delicate, and I handle it with kid gloves. I found it in a used bookstore for $4!)

Also in my collection, though not directly related to the BCP, are The 1982 Hymnal, which I found at the Salvation Army for forty cents,  The Lutheran Hymnal, and The Monastic Diurnal Revised, published by the Community of Saint Mary’s Eastern Province. I also have the Saint Augustine’s Prayer Book, whose Night Litany I find beautiful, but I always say some form of Compline as well.

So what is the point of me rattling off my prayer book collection? It’s because, as silly as it sounds, I have been having a problem with staying consistent with my prayer life. With all of the options, I am having trouble choosing a prayer book! Like everything else in my life, I need consistency. Everything has been so haphazard lately that something that is constant would be a good anchor, so to speak.

 

Planting Seeds

I need to think about the seeds that I am planting in my life, and make sure that they are seeds that I want to nuture and grow.

Seeds I want to plant:

1) Going to grad school for the fall in library science, and then possibly onto seminary.

2) Becoming more organized, and content to living with less.

3) Becoming more helpful to people, especially my family.

4) Becoming more open to people, and deepening/renewing current relationships/gaining friendships with people.

5) Finding a volunteer position that I love, helps the people it is designed to serve, and makes me happy.

6) Not being so hard on myself when I do not meet my exacting standards. I am my own worst critic! I need to learn to nuture myself, especially during times of stress.

And above all, deepen  my faith in God….

Feast Day of Saint Mary Magdalene

Yesterday was the feast day of Saint Mary Magdalene, one of my favorite saints.  I probably acted more like Martha, bustling around, and baking chocolate madeleines, and navettes, two sweets traditionally associated with her. However, as I had the day off from work, I did recite the Daily Office in honor of her, and listened to a playlist of music of songs about her.  I did want to share one of my favorite pictures of her, and a quote from the Song of Songs, which is traditionally read on her feast day in the Catholic Church

mary_mag

Song of Solomon 3.1-4

All night long on my bed
I looked for the one my heart loves;
I looked for him but did not find him.
I will get up now and go about the city,
through its streets and squares;
I will search for the one my heart loves.
So I looked for him but did not find him.
The watchmen found me
as they made their rounds in the city.
“Have you seen the one my heart loves?”
Scarcely had I passed them
when I found the one my heart loves.
I held him and would not let him go”

Ash Wednesday

I went to an Ash Wednesday service at my Episcopalian church early this morning, and got ashes imposed. It was a somber service, the church linens purple, no music, no flowers. Very bare and plain. The priest dipped his hand into the bowl of ashes, and drew the cross on my forehead, he said:

“Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”

Saying that to dust we shall return is comforting. No matter who we are, where we have been, what we have done in life, all humans come to the same end: death. Lent is about death: the death of Jesus, the death of Self against human wants versus what God wants. It is a period to examine our priorites in life, and “go into the desert” to prepare ourselves to meet the Risen Christ on Easter.

I had the awesome experience of seeing the Irish choral group Anúna in concert on their 2007 Celtic Origins tour. When they performed Media Vita live, I got goosebumps down my spine. A snippet of lyrics from this site:

Media vita in morte sumus/In the midst of life we are in death
Quem quaerimus ad iutorem nihi site domine/ What helper do we seek except you, oh Lord
Qui pro peccatis nostris /You who for our sins

It is a perfect song for Ash Wednesday no?

Glory to God

“Glory when we are stripped of every hope. Glory in our striving all our life and dying distant of our dreams. Glory in the darkest night. Glory in the cave beneath the steepest mountain on earth. And when we think that even God has died, glory in the faith that cries: I will go on.”
Christin Lore Weber, Circle of Mysteries: The Woman’s Rosary Book. pg. 189

This quote is relevant to me in many ways. Even though I have fallen short in many ways, in all aspects of my life, some small part of me refuses to give up, well, just being me. And my faith will go on. Even though the night is dark, the dawn will surely come, and light will break through.

Introduction

This journal the musings of an ordinary girl, trying to make her way in the world in an unordinary way. I am a Christian,  currently attending an Episcopalian church although I was raised UCC, fascinated by mysticism, a lover of learning, and in the midst of trying to figure out God’s Plan for me. I am also terrible at introductions, so this will have to suffice for now…

Faith In Seeds

“Though I do not believe
that a plant will spring up
where no seed has been,
I have great faith in a seed.
Convince me that you have a seed there,
and I am prepared to expect wonders.
–Henry David Thoreau

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